All sorts of updates…

TBA is still training harder than a choir boy in a porn shop. I cannot be sure if the P90X class is helping with our triathlon training, but it certainly has us working hard and sweating more than a whore in church. Last week, we did “plyometrics” which bears considerable resemblance to the seventh circle of hell from Dante’s Inferno.

The plyometric routine we did was basically a series of squats and jumping exercises. It really got the heart-rate going (I know this because I got to use my fancy heart monitor). Matt forgot his HR monitor in his locker, and then he forgot his locker combination. Sometimes I think that Matt couldn’t even count to twenty-one if he was naked.

By the end of the class, I could have sworn they had turned up the heat in the gym. Seriously, it was hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock. The class was rougher than I expected; the short recovery time mixed with the increased intensity made it very similar to interval training.

Most other days of the week, we can be found working out (which also includes ogling women and making crude, off-color jokes) either in Rockford or downtown Grand Rapids. “Smart” women are more than welcome to stop by.

We like to alternate between cardio and weight-training. Cardio days are fairly simple – we either run on the track or ride a stationary bike. Lately we’ve been doing “brick” workouts (following up a bike ride with a run). Following an intense bike ride, your legs are basically jelly for the first few hundred yards. The point of the “bricks” is to improve the transition from bike to run.

When we don’t feel like doing shit, like the day after a hardcore weight-training day, we’ll slack off and play racquetball. I have yet to win because I am not at all coordinated, but I am getting better.

We have been trying to get into the pool more often, but it hasn’t been working out. Whenever we try to go to the pool after running or biking, there is always a bullshit class or some school swim team using the lap pool.

Weight training has been the focus of our training thus far, although with our race season rapidly approaching, we’ll be switching to a more cardio-focused routine. Our weight training days are split between chest, legs, and arms/shoulders. We haven’t really done much involving the back muscles until recently.

Our training has not been without its hiccups. Last week, Matt nearly killed me by pulling all of the weights off of one side of the squat barbell when I had only just begun taking the weights off of the other side. Matt’s side of the barbell shot up and the weights on my side fell to the ground with a crash. Without the weights, my side of the barbell leveled off, but in doing so cracked me in the face above the left eye. Sometimes I think that Matt couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

No big deal, I’ve had concussions before and I’m sure I’ll have them again. But I think we’ll stick with the cabled squat bar from now on.

Team Bad Ass is all signed up for the Fifth Third Riverbank run. Matt and I will represent TBA in the 25K and Matt’s sister Sarah will run in the 5K.

That’s all for now. Thanks for all of the emails. Not one stupid comment this time. Way to go!